Married and What Not

As you are reading this, I’m now married. That is right I’m now married. Currently I’m in a penguin suit and probably dancing like I messed my pants. Don’t judge me, tuxedos are hard to get off. When you think about it, all dancing looks like you just…..

Sorry.

I’m at the reception having a good time. Wish you could be here but I know you couldn’t make it, so I’ll have a few drinks for you, in fact my guests will too. I’m pretty sure everybody is having a good time. Open bars and having a good time go together like bug zappers and the really big moths that pop when they get electrocuted.

After the night’s drunken festivities and some sleep, I’ll be on my way out of the country for a little while.

You know, beaches and margaritas. I like to think I’ll meet a dolphin and name him Sir Fuego . We’ll go around with my newly married super powers stopping Nazi zombies to groovy Scooby-Do inspired 60s music. I need to find out if they have giant hamster balls where I’m staying.

So while you are working and slaving away at whatever it is you do for the next two weeks, I’ll be relaxing or saving the world.

Hope all is well and I hope you are still slaving away in the word mines.

I have to go now, got to do husband things. My honey-do list mysteriously grew three-fold the when I said I do. I hope they have a Home Depot in Mexico, I’m sure I’ll be fixing something in the condo.

Take care, I’ll be back in a little while.

Video Game Fun

A coworker showed me this.

I was laughing so hard I had to share with you guys.

This makes me want to pick up Battlefield 3. After I beat Skyrim and get sick of MW3………..

 

Skyrim – Cancel Your Life

 

Skyrim is awesome, that is the first order of business you need to know.

 

Instead of going into how the graphics are great, the blanket snow falls are amazing, the random dragon attacks make your ass pucker, or how you can literally wander around for days and days on end I will instead list some of the awesomeness that is Skyrim

• You can climb any mountain with a horse. Seriously, these giant Clydesdales have four-wheel drive. Hop off the horse, lock in the tires, and make sweet climbing love to the mountain.
• Walk around the woods, minding your own business and get your ass ripped off by a saber-toothed cat.
• Buy a house and decorate it.
• You can fill an entire house with troll skulls.
• Fireball in one hand + fireball in other hand = REALLY big fire-ball. The dual-wielding combat system is awesome. You can dual-wield spells or weapons, this makes for more interesting game play compared to Oblivion.
• Fatality style kills scenes. I stared open-mouthed when I chopped a Falmer’s head off like something out of Mortal Kombat or when I punted a wolf in the throat and snapped its neck.
• Join the revolution, pretend to be Braveheart. FREEEEEDOOOOOMMM! If you are like me, magically inclined play style, I have been consuming the Imperials with fireballs from my eyes and shooting lighting out of my arse.
• Make a dragon crash-land. There is something gratifying about watching a giant winged fire-breathing lizard crash into the ground and skid 30 yards.
• Big ass scary dragons that will royally #%*@ your day up.
• Use your shout to send a group of enemies skydiving off of a mountain. Unrelenting Shout has to be one of the best d-bag moves to pull in a game.
• Zombie Vikings
• Fighting a giant is a quick way to learn if you can fly. There is a bug in the game the sends you miles high into the atmosphere when a giant tries to test his strength on your face. Even though it kills you, it is always entertaining.
• Stealth attack a bad guy standing shoulder to shoulder with another bad guy. You would think that when you picked off Baddie A, Baddie B would be like, “Where did Steve go?”, but no. If you are quiet enough they just stand there like idiots. I find it comical.
• Start a brawl, introduce somebody to Florence and Nightingale. Give them the ole one-two punch.
• Become a werewolf. Disembowel some people, play jump rope with their entrails, then pounce on the next helpless guy and rip his head off.
• Marry somebody.
• Get a pet dog.
• Explore that massive and vast land of Skyrim.

Skyrim is a great RPG. It has the same successful formula as Oblivion, but slightly tweaked areas that offer a different feel. The combat systems is robust, but by design. It pushes the player to strategize and think about how to approach an enemy. That is until the player is so damn powerful that one shots are a certainty.

The perk-skill leveling system is MUCH MUCH better from Oblivion’s. You aren’t as limited in how to customize your play as in the previous game, this offers more of a unique experience. While it is possible to reach 100 in EVERYTHING, you can’t have perks in all the skills. So pick your particular game play style and max it out.

Dungeons are more unique. This time the developers spent more time giving dungeons a more special feel and not a regurgitated theme. The quests are randomized; while basic elements might be the same, the NPCs, dungeon, and item/person is randomly selected. This offers a custom experience but plays victim to RNG (random number generated).

The depth in which a person can fully immerse themselves in this game is mind-boggling. The scope is large and that little whizzing sound you hear while playing is time zipping past. Blink and you spent 5 hours helping children and returning ancient artifacts.

Go buy the game, now. Seriously, go get it. You won’t be disappointed.

Modern Warfare 3 Ate My Life

 

Yes, it put a nice caramel glaze on my existence and shredded into cookie crumble shrapnel. I have played the game…. a lot.

So I am going to share my thoughts.

I have only played the multiplayer, which is 90% of the reason anybody would buy the game. Once the initial shock of ‘OMG GUNS PEWPEWPEW’ wears off I will probably move on to single player and joint ops.

But to the multiplayer!

I think some of the reviews have been unfair, calling it a waste of 60 dollars (being polite),  but I would agree with it being the most expensive map pack I have ever played for.

PROS:

• The proficiency variations that can be unlocked for a weapon coupled with the assorted attachments offer a more specialized playing experience. I can setup a gun to be more of my style or compensate for my bad habits and short comings.
• The different weapon choices is very nice. I am glad they put more guns into the game. In MW2 we had only four sniper rifles and now we can choose from six, which doesn’t sound like much but the differences are obvious when trying to shoot the nose off a dirty commie. Some have slow fire rate but sound like Thor himself farting, others are quiet but fast.
• The different kill streak rewards. This is now broken into three formats. We have assault which is the more traditional kill streak with new selections of murderous rampage, assault drone is always fun. There is also support, which lends your hard earned mercantile work to UAVs and some sort of aid that the entire team can benefit from. Lastly we have specialist which is essentially unlocking perks as you progress 2,4,and 6 kills until you eventually unlock all the perks at once. This is typically my killstreak platform of choice.

CONS:

• THE LAG! OH MY GOD…. I have pretty good internet and play lots of online games. I have never really had HUGE issues with lag before. This game is packed full of packet loss. I have had enemies shoot bullets out of their elbows. To be clear, I am coming around a corner, see a guy standing in a hallway facing to the side and suddenly bullets fly out of his armpit. On the killcam it shows him turning and putting his sights on me while I stand there like an idiot, VERY VERY frustrating. It had made it hard to know if I am actually sneaking up on somebody.
• The maps are ok, just so. I like a good scale of variation with maps. Some maps should be sniper friendly and others should be run-n-gun friendly. It seems all the MW3 maps are designed with the same combat flow and skill set in mind. This disappoints me because I like to do different things. It feels like the standard player with an assault rifle is rewarded more than using any other type of weapon.
• Hardcore [Insert Game Mode] is not fun at all anymore. In MW2 I lived and breathed for hardcore, now I play regular. Hardcore rewards cheap kills and camping more than before while regular feels more like MW2’s hardcore with the health of players and power of the guns. I am still confused how a shotgun blast to the face, sniper round to the chest, and grenade in the ass doesn’t kill a player but a throwing knife will regardless of where it hits.

 

Overall I think the game is good fun, but not flawless. There is certainly no shortage of issues for the developers to work on, some new features are done very well while some older aspects fall flat. Leveling doesn’t feel as tedious as before and rewards experimentation more than familiarity with weaponry, which I like. I am curious to see how the game will unfold with updates and  map packs, but I will continue to play it and neglect other aspects of my life, except maybe writing.

Which reminds me, writing post coming soon.

Goals For Saturday

I just woke up, it was amazing sleeping in. Hung out with some good company and watched The Next Iron Chef, came home about 10:30, was in bed asleep at 11. It is almost 11 in the morning and I feel awesome. So here is the list of things for me to accomplish today:

1. Early morning BM (bowel movement)

2. Deposit check and pay bills

3. Find a washer and dryer.

4.Finish my story Violence Breeds Violence, Repression Breed Retaliation.

5. ??????

6. Profit (which is counter-intuitive with paying bills.

The only thing that would improve the day is if I didn’t have to leave the house, thus negating the need for pants. The days I don’t have to wear pants are the happiest days of the week, am I right?

Sex and Violence

So I partake in many forms of media for my sensory exercises. Not necessarily that I’m addicted to being entertained, but I do enjoy a good book/movie/cd/video game. I like to feel the character’s emotions and enjoy their situation, good or bad, or feel the flowing vibe of a good song. Sometimes when I get pissed at a character’s actions or their predicament, I am still having fun. Just on a different level.

Granted there are times when I want to punch a wall because it is annoying and borderline unbearable, but I do enjoy being moved through the motions. One thing that does irk me to no end is when sex and violence is used just for the sake of using them. I like action movies and I’m a fan of nudity just like the next guy, but to just blatantly do it for the sake that you can, it really takes away from the experience for me. I might be crazy and alone on this one. If I wanted to watch senseless violence without any really plot device or purpose, I’d go to an MMA fight. It is what it is and you know that going into it. If I wanted to watch people have sex all day, I’d just watch porn. It is what it is and you know that going into it. I just don’t like when these two things are used to fill a gap or void in something because the story is a thinly veiled piece of shit.

By no means am I a prude or uptight, heh, just poke around my blog and you can figure that out. I am simply a strong believer in ‘There is a time and place for everything’ mantra. I do firmly believe that and sometimes it saddens me because I find things highly critically acclaimed or loved simply because some celebrity gets nude or somebody gets stabbed to death with a carrot. More and more it seems things are touched on for sensory exploitation and everything else is background noise. Just hit the hot buttons and everything falls in place. That annoys me.

 

How do you feel about it?

 

15 Minutes of Skyrim Footage

Behold, and watch the awesomeness that is Elder Scrolls: Skyrim.

 

Check Out My Friend

Ahh, that is where he has been.

Hay guys, if you like my blog, check out my friend and fellow writer’s blog. He is an aspiring writer like me. We have the same tastes in books, same random musings, and the same sense of humor. We are working on several stories together and are hoping to build a little community of writers to sound board ideas and writery type things with. Click on the link and check him out, I’m sure you will laugh your ass off and have a good time.

You can call him Al.

CLICK HERE.