Category Archives: Nerd

Google Augmented Reality Glasses

Have you seen these? This is insane! These glasses are both awesome and terrifying at the same time.

Check them out for yourself.

I wonder if his loft has a map…

The streamlining of random questions/tasks one will have instant visual aid in answering/solving will be really, really neat. However this really kicks the end of privacy argument up a few notches.

Imagine it.

“Where is John?”

….locating John…..

John’s current location is his apartment bathroom.

“John, Taco Bell and Jameson shots don’t mix.”

Which John remembers to take off his glasses and feels like he can’t go to the bathroom without the world intruding.

To put my point in more context, I have a Blackberry that I rarely use except for texting. It is almost three years old and was built for the Edge network. Maybe it is my anti-social curmudgeonly outlook on life, but I don’t want to be that connected. Having information that readily available would be nice but at the same time it might be too much.

Then again the ease in which knowledge is placed at ones eyelids has the vast potential for awesome. Hands off, borderline instantaneous information could be so amazingly useful I can barely wrap my head around the applications.

Mark my words, the next step will be implants.

 

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Worst Science Fiction Movie Ever

Over at io9 the folks are doing a March Madness bracket on the worst science fiction movies ever. I suggest you head on over to io9 and put your vote in. Some movies are so amazingly pinned together that it is hard to measure how much they sucked because the movie titles are measurements of suck themselves.

Example.

Waterworld v Batman and Robin

How do you pick between those two?  I would reason that Batman and Robin was 3 Waterworlds. Then again I could argue that Waterworld was 3 Batman and Robin. I guess there is a 1:1 ratio there so the pairing makes sense.

I picked Batman and Robin because of the Bat-nipples.

 

GO HERE AND VOTE!!!

 

 

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Tolkien and Nazis

So I was reading this interesting little article over at io9 about Tolkien and the German publishing industry in 1938. You can read it here, so click and go read it!

The breakdown is that Tolkien was working out getting published in Germany and was asked a very interesting question that basically resulted in him responding what we would translate into WTF today; the publisher asked for documents proving his Aryan heritage. Before he replied he sent a letter to his publisher asking his opinion on the subject. In his letter to his publisher he said he had written two responses to the Germany publisher; one ignoring the question and the other basically saying piss off – but very English and very Tolkien-y.

Thank you for your letter. I regret that I am not clear as to what you intend by arisch. I am not of Aryan extraction: that is Indo-Iranian; as far as I am aware none of my ancestors spoke Hindustani, Persian, Gypsy, or any related dialects. But if I am to understand that you are enquiring whether I am of Jewish origin, I can only reply that I regret that I appear to have no ancestors of that gifted people. My great-great-grandfather came to England in the eighteenth century from Germany: the main part of my descent is therefore purely English, and I am an English subject – which should be sufficient. I have been accustomed, nonetheless, to regard my German name with pride, and continued to do so throughout the period of the late regrettable war, in which I served in the English army. I cannot, however, forbear to comment that if impertinent and irrelevant inquiries of this sort are to become the rule in matters of literature, then the time is not far distant when a German name will no longer be a source of pride.

Your enquiry is doubtless made in order to comply with the laws of your own country, but that this should be held to apply to the subjects of another state would be improper, even if it had (as it has not) any bearing whatsoever on the merits of my work or its sustainability for publication, of which you appear to have satisfied yourselves without reference to my Abstammung.

 

While I found this entertaining in an old school English way, read with the voice of Winston Churchill while he drank bourbon and smoked cigars, what got me were the comments to this article.

It starts with a comment from a guy saying that Bear Jew from Inglorious Basterds should pair up with Tolkien in a buddy movie as they move across Europe causing all sorts of what can only be described as shenanigans.

From there we add several other amazing characters completing what I could only describe as the most amazing movie concept ever.

The list goes as:
Roald Dahl (I know…)
Ian Fleming
Robert Heinlein
Julia Child
Bear Jew
Fassbender’s Magneto
Sniper from Saving Private Ryan
Mal Reynolds

I am having a hard time understanding just how awesome something like this would be.

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Dubstep & Writing

Between going in and out of meetings  and being harassed by people in different departments from stupid to insanely hard questions, I have basically given up hope to listen to audiobooks at work. This was once one of my favorite ways to pass time at my job. Listen to the book and just work, enjoy the fruits of my imagination painting a picture. Sounds simple right?

No.

I have started leaving my iPod at home and canceled my audible subscription. If I’m not in a meeting or talking to somebody about something, I eventually run through my work load and start hitting bumps. These bumps are in part what I’m paid for, which demand my entire attention and sometimes can cause me to start bleeding out of the ears because the problem I am faced with is the software equivalent of putting makeup on a bull, mid bull ride. These are daily exercises in building character.

I  just found out I have been inadvertently doing linear algebra in my head. Kind of shocked me because I am very bad at math (not like I don’t get it, more like I have to work five times harder to than normal people to understand what they consider simple concepts).  I never thought I would ever learn/utilize this level of math in my life. But the way that the tech world works, things change and you better adapt. So take that and multiply by two because I have started a new project at work, good-bye ability to enjoy audiobooks at work.

This has left a gap in my awareness. I can’t just sit and not have anything to listen to. I have listened to the music I own and digested it so much that I spend more time skipping songs than I do actually listening to one. I’ll pick one, listen to it, skip for about three or four hundred songs, listen to another, rinse and repeat. So I am over my music collection and this has left a gap in my attention span, I somehow feel mentally naked without something to process in the background. It is a very odd feeling.

I can’t just NOT listen to something, that would mean listening to gossip and the guy behind me and his extremely personal hourly phone calls. I can only hear about Crohn’s Disease in detail for so long. So, with my lull in music, I have decided to fully embrace dubstep.

 

Yeah, I know.

For the past few days I have submerged myself into this very, very odd and sporadic music genre. Imagine catching a fish then getting it drunk and electrocuting it, then imagine putting it in a giant fish tank where a dinosaur with a laser attached to its snout constantly tries to snap at the fish through the glass. Now imagine being that fish.

That is what listening to dubstep feels like.

I’m not even remotely exaggerating.

The moral of all that? Dubstep is very hit or miss for me, but the songs and bands I have discovered are exactly what I need to fill the space in my head while I try to work; just enough to ignore, but awesome enough that I can enjoy it while working.

I fear what would happen if I listened to dubstep while I wrote. If it was remotely coherent it would probably read like a lab rat’s drug induced wet dream, just imagine Muppets with human eyes.

As for writing, I haven’t been doing a ton of it, but I have been consistent. I just finished another story and that makes me very excited and happy. I’m already two stories completed into 2012, which makes me feel very accomplished. Even though I had started both of them in 2011, I’m just going to ride this wave of productivity and say I have kicked ass.

I have several different stories submitted out in the world, some a second phase of feedback and others in that WHY HAVEN’T THEY EMAILED ME BACK YET stage of post-submission anxiety. I swear I won’t allow myself to get it, but it happens…….every time.

Other than that, life is good. Wish school loans would go die in a car fire. I could blog four years on how a 13% interest rate on school loans can really be a turd in your cereal.

I follow politics fairly close and have wondered if I should chime in with a blog or two. Some interesting things are going on within the Republican field. Not to mention all the shenanigans that Stephen Colbert and John Stewart are doing.

Few other posts to make but are super secret still. I will publish them when I can.

Back to the word mines!

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Randy Savage + Dragon = Awesome, Skyrim in Real Life, and Unicorn Poop.

Do you play Skyrim? There is a mod that takes the game’s perfect ten and ever so calmly cranks it up to 11.

Somebody took the  dragon god and replaced his scaly toothy face for Randy “Macho Man” Savage’s glorious face. Just when you thought the phrase ‘Oh yea!’ couldn’t get even more deadly.

You’re welcome.

 

Also check out Skyrim in real life.

 

 

Ever wanted to eat a cookie modeled after unicorn poop? Watch this video and check out the recipe here.

 

 

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All Purpose Zombie Tool

Like any self-respecting nerd, I have my break-in-case-of-zombie-apocalypse glass shielded axe and shotgun plus ammo cache. I mean who doesn’t? It is all the rage now a days.  You never know when your neighbor is going to show up to snack on you, so being ready for any decaying mindless killing machine prone to random fits of choreographed dance is something that any potential snackee might want.

So watch this video. A home-made all purpose zombie cleaning tool that has such high multipurpose that you can expect a swiffer version any day now.

**WARNING**

This video may contain an awesome Scandinavian pirate accent. (Probably not politically correct)

You know you wish you were this guy’s neighbor…. unless you are a zombie… that might be very stressful during neighborhood barbecues.

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Video Game Fun

A coworker showed me this.

I was laughing so hard I had to share with you guys.

This makes me want to pick up Battlefield 3. After I beat Skyrim and get sick of MW3………..

 

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Skyrim – Cancel Your Life


 

Skyrim is awesome, that is the first order of business you need to know.

 

Instead of going into how the graphics are great, the blanket snow falls are amazing, the random dragon attacks make your ass pucker, or how you can literally wander around for days and days on end I will instead list some of the awesomeness that is Skyrim

  • You can climb any mountain with a horse. Seriously, these giant Clydesdales have four-wheel drive. Hop off the horse, lock in the tires, and make sweet climbing love to the mountain.
  • Walk around the woods, minding your own business and get your ass ripped off by a saber-toothed cat.
  • Buy a house and decorate it.
  • You can fill an entire house with troll skulls.
  • Fireball in one hand + fireball in other hand = REALLY big fire-ball. The dual-wielding combat system is awesome. You can dual-wield spells or weapons, this makes for more interesting game play compared to Oblivion.
  • Fatality style kills scenes. I stared open-mouthed when I chopped a Falmer’s head off like something out of Mortal Kombat or when I punted a wolf in the throat and snapped its neck.
  • Join the revolution, pretend to be Braveheart. FREEEEEDOOOOOMMM! If you are like me, magically inclined play style, I have been consuming the Imperials with fireballs from my eyes and shooting lighting out of my arse.
  • Make a dragon crash-land. There is something gratifying about watching a giant winged fire-breathing lizard crash into the ground and skid 30 yards.
  • Big ass scary dragons that will royally #%*@ your day up.
  • Use your shout to send a group of enemies skydiving off of a mountain. Unrelenting Shout has to be one of the best d-bag moves to pull in a game.
  • Zombie Vikings
  • Fighting a giant is a quick way to learn if you can fly. There is a bug in the game the sends you miles high into the atmosphere when a giant tries to test his strength on your face. Even though it kills you, it is always entertaining.
  • Stealth attack a bad guy standing shoulder to shoulder with another bad guy. You would think that when you picked off Baddie A, Baddie B would be like, “Where did Steve go?”, but no. If you are quiet enough they just stand there like idiots. I find it comical.
  • Start a brawl, introduce somebody to Florence and Nightingale. Give them the ole one-two punch.
  • Become a werewolf. Disembowel some people, play jump rope with their entrails, then pounce on the next helpless guy and rip his head off.
  • Marry somebody.
  • Get a pet dog.
  • Explore that massive and vast land of Skyrim.

Skyrim is a great RPG. It has the same successful formula as Oblivion, but slightly tweaked areas that offer a different feel. The combat systems is robust, but by design. It pushes the player to strategize and think about how to approach an enemy. That is until the player is so damn powerful that one shots are a certainty.

The perk-skill leveling system is MUCH MUCH better from Oblivion’s. You aren’t as limited in how to customize your play as in the previous game, this offers more of a unique experience. While it is possible to reach 100 in EVERYTHING, you can’t have perks in all the skills. So pick your particular game play style and max it out.

Dungeons are more unique. This time the developers spent more time giving dungeons a more special feel and not a regurgitated theme. The quests are randomized; while basic elements might be the same, the NPCs, dungeon, and item/person is randomly selected. This offers a custom experience but plays victim to RNG (random number generated).

The depth in which a person can fully immerse themselves in this game is mind-boggling. The scope is large and that little whizzing sound you hear while playing is time zipping past. Blink and you spent 5 hours helping children and returning ancient artifacts.

Go buy the game, now. Seriously, go get it. You won’t be disappointed.

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Sweet Geek Art

Here are some sweet splatter paint pictures from artist Arian Noveir, you can find his stuff here or you can buy his stuff here. They are digital, but that doesn’t take away from the awesomeness of the pictures. I could see one of these hanging next to my Cave Johnson framed talking picture.

 

 

For more splatter paint, click here.

You can check out some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle here at Dave Rapoza’s blog.

 

 

 

 

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More Robots

So here is more evidence that some giant spider robot brain is controlling engineers and general crazy people into making more of our future robotic overlords.

What is worse than giant robot spiders? A robot designed after a dinosaur snake.

Yes.

You read that right.

I just used the words robot, dinosaur, and snake in the same sentence. To add that extra flavor of terror to your soul, look at the people compared to the size of the snake.

The snake is called Titanboa, a prehistoric snake found in Columbia a little while back. Apparently it was nearly 2 tons and 45 feet long.

Now there is a robot version, one impervious to fire, bullets, and Jennifer Lopez.

RIP Steve Irwin.

Also, here is a robot controlling a human arm with electrodes.

Apparently robots are teaching humans to do things by shocking the stuffing out of them. If robots had a sense of humor and not a cold lifeless death-centric view of world domination, imagine driving down the street and your car shocking your ass and you start stabbing your face with car keys, just to tickle your car’s transistors. People, this is our future, keep a shotgun handy.

On the plus side, the next time you are driving through Wal-Mart and almost get hit by a car crossing the parking lot the wrong way, you can blame the robots for punching the driver in the face.

 

 

 

 

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