Tag Archives: Nerd

Tolkien and Nazis

So I was reading this interesting little article over at io9 about Tolkien and the German publishing industry in 1938. You can read it here, so click and go read it!

The breakdown is that Tolkien was working out getting published in Germany and was asked a very interesting question that basically resulted in him responding what we would translate into WTF today; the publisher asked for documents proving his Aryan heritage. Before he replied he sent a letter to his publisher asking his opinion on the subject. In his letter to his publisher he said he had written two responses to the Germany publisher; one ignoring the question and the other basically saying piss off – but very English and very Tolkien-y.

Thank you for your letter. I regret that I am not clear as to what you intend by arisch. I am not of Aryan extraction: that is Indo-Iranian; as far as I am aware none of my ancestors spoke Hindustani, Persian, Gypsy, or any related dialects. But if I am to understand that you are enquiring whether I am of Jewish origin, I can only reply that I regret that I appear to have no ancestors of that gifted people. My great-great-grandfather came to England in the eighteenth century from Germany: the main part of my descent is therefore purely English, and I am an English subject – which should be sufficient. I have been accustomed, nonetheless, to regard my German name with pride, and continued to do so throughout the period of the late regrettable war, in which I served in the English army. I cannot, however, forbear to comment that if impertinent and irrelevant inquiries of this sort are to become the rule in matters of literature, then the time is not far distant when a German name will no longer be a source of pride.

Your enquiry is doubtless made in order to comply with the laws of your own country, but that this should be held to apply to the subjects of another state would be improper, even if it had (as it has not) any bearing whatsoever on the merits of my work or its sustainability for publication, of which you appear to have satisfied yourselves without reference to my Abstammung.

 

While I found this entertaining in an old school English way, read with the voice of Winston Churchill while he drank bourbon and smoked cigars, what got me were the comments to this article.

It starts with a comment from a guy saying that Bear Jew from Inglorious Basterds should pair up with Tolkien in a buddy movie as they move across Europe causing all sorts of what can only be described as shenanigans.

From there we add several other amazing characters completing what I could only describe as the most amazing movie concept ever.

The list goes as:
Roald Dahl (I know…)
Ian Fleming
Robert Heinlein
Julia Child
Bear Jew
Fassbender’s Magneto
Sniper from Saving Private Ryan
Mal Reynolds

I am having a hard time understanding just how awesome something like this would be.

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Skyrim – Cancel Your Life


 

Skyrim is awesome, that is the first order of business you need to know.

 

Instead of going into how the graphics are great, the blanket snow falls are amazing, the random dragon attacks make your ass pucker, or how you can literally wander around for days and days on end I will instead list some of the awesomeness that is Skyrim

  • You can climb any mountain with a horse. Seriously, these giant Clydesdales have four-wheel drive. Hop off the horse, lock in the tires, and make sweet climbing love to the mountain.
  • Walk around the woods, minding your own business and get your ass ripped off by a saber-toothed cat.
  • Buy a house and decorate it.
  • You can fill an entire house with troll skulls.
  • Fireball in one hand + fireball in other hand = REALLY big fire-ball. The dual-wielding combat system is awesome. You can dual-wield spells or weapons, this makes for more interesting game play compared to Oblivion.
  • Fatality style kills scenes. I stared open-mouthed when I chopped a Falmer’s head off like something out of Mortal Kombat or when I punted a wolf in the throat and snapped its neck.
  • Join the revolution, pretend to be Braveheart. FREEEEEDOOOOOMMM! If you are like me, magically inclined play style, I have been consuming the Imperials with fireballs from my eyes and shooting lighting out of my arse.
  • Make a dragon crash-land. There is something gratifying about watching a giant winged fire-breathing lizard crash into the ground and skid 30 yards.
  • Big ass scary dragons that will royally #%*@ your day up.
  • Use your shout to send a group of enemies skydiving off of a mountain. Unrelenting Shout has to be one of the best d-bag moves to pull in a game.
  • Zombie Vikings
  • Fighting a giant is a quick way to learn if you can fly. There is a bug in the game the sends you miles high into the atmosphere when a giant tries to test his strength on your face. Even though it kills you, it is always entertaining.
  • Stealth attack a bad guy standing shoulder to shoulder with another bad guy. You would think that when you picked off Baddie A, Baddie B would be like, “Where did Steve go?”, but no. If you are quiet enough they just stand there like idiots. I find it comical.
  • Start a brawl, introduce somebody to Florence and Nightingale. Give them the ole one-two punch.
  • Become a werewolf. Disembowel some people, play jump rope with their entrails, then pounce on the next helpless guy and rip his head off.
  • Marry somebody.
  • Get a pet dog.
  • Explore that massive and vast land of Skyrim.

Skyrim is a great RPG. It has the same successful formula as Oblivion, but slightly tweaked areas that offer a different feel. The combat systems is robust, but by design. It pushes the player to strategize and think about how to approach an enemy. That is until the player is so damn powerful that one shots are a certainty.

The perk-skill leveling system is MUCH MUCH better from Oblivion’s. You aren’t as limited in how to customize your play as in the previous game, this offers more of a unique experience. While it is possible to reach 100 in EVERYTHING, you can’t have perks in all the skills. So pick your particular game play style and max it out.

Dungeons are more unique. This time the developers spent more time giving dungeons a more special feel and not a regurgitated theme. The quests are randomized; while basic elements might be the same, the NPCs, dungeon, and item/person is randomly selected. This offers a custom experience but plays victim to RNG (random number generated).

The depth in which a person can fully immerse themselves in this game is mind-boggling. The scope is large and that little whizzing sound you hear while playing is time zipping past. Blink and you spent 5 hours helping children and returning ancient artifacts.

Go buy the game, now. Seriously, go get it. You won’t be disappointed.

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Sweet Geek Art

Here are some sweet splatter paint pictures from artist Arian Noveir, you can find his stuff here or you can buy his stuff here. They are digital, but that doesn’t take away from the awesomeness of the pictures. I could see one of these hanging next to my Cave Johnson framed talking picture.

 

 

For more splatter paint, click here.

You can check out some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle here at Dave Rapoza’s blog.

 

 

 

 

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Modern Warfare 3 Ate My Life

 

Yes, it put a nice caramel glaze on my existence and shredded into cookie crumble shrapnel. I have played the game…. a lot.

So I am going to share my thoughts.

I have only played the multiplayer, which is 90% of the reason anybody would buy the game. Once the initial shock of ‘OMG GUNS PEWPEWPEW’ wears off I will probably move on to single player and joint ops.

But to the multiplayer!

I think some of the reviews have been unfair, calling it a waste of 60 dollars (being polite),  but I would agree with it being the most expensive map pack I have ever played for.

PROS:

  • The proficiency variations that can be unlocked for a weapon coupled with the assorted attachments offer a more specialized playing experience. I can setup a gun to be more of my style or compensate for my bad habits and short comings.
  • The different weapon choices is very nice. I am glad they put more guns into the game. In MW2 we had only four sniper rifles and now we can choose from six, which doesn’t sound like much but the differences are obvious when trying to shoot the nose off a dirty commie. Some have slow fire rate but sound like Thor himself farting, others are quiet but fast.
  • The different kill streak rewards. This is now broken into three formats. We have assault which is the more traditional kill streak with new selections of murderous rampage, assault drone is always fun. There is also support, which lends your hard earned mercantile work to UAVs and some sort of aid that the entire team can benefit from. Lastly we have specialist which is essentially unlocking perks as you progress 2,4,and 6 kills until you eventually unlock all the perks at once. This is typically my killstreak platform of choice.

CONS:

  • THE LAG! OH MY GOD…. I have pretty good internet and play lots of online games. I have never really had HUGE issues with lag before. This game is packed full of packet loss. I have had enemies shoot bullets out of their elbows. To be clear, I am coming around a corner, see a guy standing in a hallway facing to the side and suddenly bullets fly out of his armpit. On the killcam it shows him turning and putting his sights on me while I stand there like an idiot, VERY VERY frustrating. It had made it hard to know if I am actually sneaking up on somebody.
  • The maps are ok, just so. I like a good scale of variation with maps. Some maps should be sniper friendly and others should be run-n-gun friendly. It seems all the MW3 maps are designed with the same combat flow and skill set in mind. This disappoints me because I like to do different things. It feels like the standard player with an assault rifle is rewarded more than using any other type of weapon.
  • Hardcore [Insert Game Mode] is not fun at all anymore. In MW2 I lived and breathed for hardcore, now I play regular. Hardcore rewards cheap kills and camping more than before while regular feels more like MW2’s hardcore with the health of players and power of the guns. I am still confused how a shotgun blast to the face, sniper round to the chest, and grenade in the ass doesn’t kill a player but a throwing knife will regardless of where it hits.

 

Overall I think the game is good fun, but not flawless. There is certainly no shortage of issues for the developers to work on, some new features are done very well while some older aspects fall flat. Leveling doesn’t feel as tedious as before and rewards experimentation more than familiarity with weaponry, which I like. I am curious to see how the game will unfold with updates and  map packs, but I will continue to play it and neglect other aspects of my life, except maybe writing.

Which reminds me, writing post coming soon.

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Live Action Retro Gaming

Here is an awesome video of live action retro gaming. It is as awesome as it sounds.

Next up is a Minecraft musical, complete with hissing and exploding zombies.

 

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Clever Girl..

This is the best Jurassic Park recreation ever. The suspense really set me over the edge when his power wheels delayed.

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Awesome Parenting

This is heart-warming and awesome.

Once again proving the nerd parents are the best.

 

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How C-3PO Should Have Sounded

This made me laugh my ass off. Seriously, this would have made C-3PO 1000x more interesting.

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Vader Gets His Way Or Else

If you haven’t heard about the new re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-release of the Star Wars saga on blu-ray, that isn’t an exaggeration it has been released seventeen times, than you don’t know about the change at the end of ‘Return of the Jedi’.

When the Emperor is being picked like a cheap Russian mail order bride and tossed down the amazingly unnecessary shaft, Vader yells NOOO! like a 17-year-old boy just parked in the friend zone.

 

So what would happen if Vader was an average guy living an average life with a bottomless shaft in his living room?

A dead cat.

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Nerd Videos

Nerd dads have the most fun with their kids. I think it is a law of nature or something. Here is a nerdy father waking his son up.

Best.Nerd.Wedding.Proposal.Ever. This is seriously awesome. The guy who put this together hired some level designers to make a Portal 2 project, and he even hired the woman who is the voice of GlaDos. How awesome is that?

Here we watch a wild R2D2 being reintroduced back into nature, watch as he is horrifically mauled by a bear is accepted by his new family.

 

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