Magic Mike

“It’s against the law to touch, but I see a lot of law breakers in here.”

That is easily the most ridiculous one-liner I’ve heard today.

With that said, this is how I imagine straight women will indulge themselves in the eye candy of chiseled abs and swinging man bits that is Magic Mike.

Roughly:

START OF MOVIE

• Interest
• Giggly interest
• Super giggly interest
• Schoolgirl giggly interest
• Temperature rising interest
• *Ab flash* Super interest
• *More Ab flash* Super-duper interest
• * Banana hammock square dancing* Swooning with unbearable interest
• * Sweaty-naked Tatum and McConaughey fighting/wrestling* Ovaries explode with interest
• *Abs flash* Interest
• Giggly Interest
• ….etc
• Rinse and repeat until the end of the movie
• Sleep

END OF MOVIE

This is probably how it would go for me.

START OF MOVIE

• No interest, anger for being at movie.
• No interest, some points for Buncha Crunch
• No interest
• Confusion
• Slight interest
• Growing Interest
• *Ab flash*  Full on interest
• *More Ab flash*  Large amount of invested interest
• * Banana hammock square dancing* Sweating with unbearable interest
• * Sweaty-naked Tatum and McConaughey fighting/wrestling* Very, very overwhelmed with interest
• No interest
• Shame
• Hunger/need a sandwich
• Sleep

END OF MOVIE 

Mind you that is just an estimate, I don’t claim to know anything about anything.