Magic Mike

“It’s against the law to touch, but I see a lot of law breakers in here.”

That is easily the most ridiculous one-liner I’ve heard today.

With that said, this is how I imagine straight women will indulge themselves in the eye candy of chiseled abs and swinging man bits that is Magic Mike.

Roughly:

START OF MOVIE

  • Interest
  • Giggly interest
  • Super giggly interest
  • Schoolgirl giggly interest
  • Temperature rising interest
  • *Ab flash* Super interest
  • *More Ab flash* Super-duper interest
  • * Banana hammock square dancing* Swooning with unbearable interest
  • * Sweaty-naked Tatum and McConaughey fighting/wrestling* Ovaries explode with interest
  • *Abs flash* Interest
  • Giggly Interest
  • ….etc
  • Rinse and repeat until the end of the movie
  • Sleep

END OF MOVIE

This is probably how it would go for me.

START OF MOVIE

  • No interest, anger for being at movie.
  • No interest, some points for Buncha Crunch
  • No interest
  • Confusion
  • Slight interest
  • Growing Interest
  • *Ab flash*  Full on interest
  • *More Ab flash*  Large amount of invested interest
  • * Banana hammock square dancing* Sweating with unbearable interest
  • * Sweaty-naked Tatum and McConaughey fighting/wrestling* Very, very overwhelmed with interest
  • No interest
  • Shame
  • Hunger/need a sandwich
  • Sleep

END OF MOVIE 

Mind you that is just an estimate, I don’t claim to know anything about anything.

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7 thoughts on “Magic Mike

  1. thefoodandwinehedonist says:

    Apparently Olivia Munn is topless three times in the movie. That’s gotta count for schoolgirl giggly interest.

    • Frank Bishop says:

      It very well could, directors have to do something to counter the copious amounts of helicoptering.

      Also, I’m still a little hurt from her leaving G4. Now EVERYBODY is leaving.

  2. Very interesting. I saw the extra and noticed that it’s mainly a girl flick so I’ll skip it. Great thing you gave us an honest preview. Have a great day…

  3. goldfish says:

    Sorry to disappoint with my straight girl vagina, but I had to look this movie up because I’d never heard of it, none of those “men” count as eye candy for me nor do I like chick flicks at all, like, in any way. I’d rather shoot my eyes out with a hammer.

    *harrumphs at Mr. Bishop’s generalizations and stomps off to watch a war movie.*

    • Frank Bishop says:

      Hmm, slight confusion. Can’t tell if serious or poking fun at me.

      If serious..
      If you aren’t one of the ladies indulging in the movie, it wouldn’t apply. Right? Also the last half of the post I mock myself and acknowledge I know nothing.

      If poking fun at me…

      Jolly good. Had me going. Movie looks ridiculous.

      • goldfish says:

        Mr. Bishop, when have you ever known me to be serious? Also, how would one exactly shoot one’s eye out with a hammer? 😛

        (I had never heard of it, don’t think it’s eye candy, hate chick flicks tho.)

      • Frank Bishop says:

        Fair enough. I will never question the goldfish again.

        Touché and well played.

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