Being Manly

So while I have been sick my fiancée has been ridiculing me nonstop, basically saying i’m a huge baby. Apparently I whine and ask for unreasonable things. I, of course, say other wise. I think asking for cold ice water and not to have to run a million errands while i’m sick is reasonable, but thankfully there is somebody in my life to tell me I am wrong.

The first night that my flu/strep throat/sinus infection c-c-c-c-combo breaker set in I was laying in bed coughing parts of my insides out. I was talking to her about the things going on with my body and I casually mentioned that I am worried I might be getting pneumonia, mostly due to how hard it was for me to breathe and the fact that a few people in the office are out with it. That was me being a huge baby and extreme, there was no possible way I was that sick. While I think this is all in good jest, some part of my male pride was severely offended and I started to roll over the manly things that I have done in my life.

So here is part of the list.

• helped build a house.
• hunted an animal, cooked it at a campfire, and brought the pelt/antlers back as evidence.
• been shot
• broken bones fighting
• been electrocuted
• mastered the art of a firm handshake
• passed kidney stones
• put chili on my ice cream

I have done a little research about the things that entail general manliness and have come to the conclusion there are other things I can do that will implicitly enforce my masculinity and never bring it into question next time I am sick.

1) Shave my face with something only men in the remotest regions of Russia use

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2) Imitate and uphold the holy trinity of manliness; Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, and Steve McQueen

3) Get a prostate exam and never complain, cry, or twitch

4) Become a lumberjack

5) Wrestle bears like Teddy Roosevelt

 

6) Be Zakk Wylde – seriously Ozzy Osborne told this guy to tone down the drinking, think about that

7) Grow a handle bar moustache

8) Toss kegs really far

9) Put more spice on my ice cream

10) Help elderly women more

 

Runner up was being able to play a sweet drum solo. I just wanted to keep it at 10 things. Wasn’t too sure about this guy, he either is insanely manly or a few sandwiches short of a picnic. He puts on a bulletproof vest then shoots himself in the chest to see how well it works.

 

 

How about you, do you have anything manly to add to the list?

Space Operas

Space Opera seems to have a very liberal definition with a negative background. Apparently back in the ‘golden age’ of science fiction the stories were soap operas in space, thus in a fit of originality they were dubbed Space Operas. It was a term used to label ‘bad’ science fiction that didn’t really offer anything other than senseless drama. Throw in some cheesy keyboard music and we were one step away from porn apparently.

However, Space Opera doesn’t necessarily mean anything bad or cheap now. It can be a fun little hike into the social and personal relationships of characters as they journey through space, live peacefully, or blow some shit up in space. Some readers/writers, typically in the hard science fiction grey area, feel that if it isn’t Bruce Lee’s abs hard, it is space opera. I really don’t know how much I can agree with this sentiment because the lines are very blurry to me. If a science fiction story isn’t steeped in our understanding of how the universe works, then it isn’t hard? What about the most important part of a science fiction story, what about the ‘what if’ factor. If I want to read hard science fiction, I’ll go buy a physics book.

Twenty years from now scientists might make a break through in our understanding of the universe and it turn out that the warp drive from Star Trek is possible. Not only would nerds everywhere nerdgasm, it would change our fundamental understandings of power sources, time, and distances forever, granted it seems ridiculous right now. My point is that should we automatically dismiss a story based on how we understand things now? Our understanding is forever changing, daily if not hourly. Watch the PhD Comic here, we are still looking at the tail of the elephant, but we have no idea that it is an elephant. We just see one small piece of it.

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.” – Albert Einstein.

I recently read an article that labeled ten science fiction stories that are actually space fantasy, one of them being Dune. Granted Dune isn’t exactly scientifically marked for accuracy or even in the same universe of hard science fiction, it is still one of my favorite science fiction novels and has a close place to my heart. I think it is a bit unfair to cast this novel out into the void simply because it lacks solid scientific foundation. It isn’t like it is being worshiped as truth or anything, it is just a fun read. Who knows, we might discover a sandy planet with giant worms grazing the ground like maddened ravenous Gary Buseys. Is it likely, no, but it is still fun and that is what is important.

Scary

Science - It Works, Bitches.