Being Manly

So while I have been sick my fiancée has been ridiculing me nonstop, basically saying i’m a huge baby. Apparently I whine and ask for unreasonable things. I, of course, say other wise. I think asking for cold ice water and not to have to run a million errands while i’m sick is reasonable, but thankfully there is somebody in my life to tell me I am wrong.

The first night that my flu/strep throat/sinus infection c-c-c-c-combo breaker set in I was laying in bed coughing parts of my insides out. I was talking to her about the things going on with my body and I casually mentioned that I am worried I might be getting pneumonia, mostly due to how hard it was for me to breathe and the fact that a few people in the office are out with it. That was me being a huge baby and extreme, there was no possible way I was that sick. While I think this is all in good jest, some part of my male pride was severely offended and I started to roll over the manly things that I have done in my life.

So here is part of the list.

  • helped build a house.
  • hunted an animal, cooked it at a campfire, and brought the pelt/antlers back as evidence.
  • been shot
  • broken bones fighting
  • been electrocuted
  • mastered the art of a firm handshake
  • passed kidney stones
  • put chili on my ice cream

I have done a little research about the things that entail general manliness and have come to the conclusion there are other things I can do that will implicitly enforce my masculinity and never bring it into question next time I am sick.


1) Shave my face with something only men in the remotest regions of Russia use

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2) Imitate and uphold the holy trinity of manliness; Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, and Steve McQueen

3) Get a prostate exam and never complain, cry, or twitch

4) Become a lumberjack

5) Wrestle bears like Teddy Roosevelt

 


6) Be Zakk Wylde – seriously Ozzy Osborne told this guy to tone down the drinking, think about that

7) Grow a handle bar moustache

8) Toss kegs really far

9) Put more spice on my ice cream

10) Help elderly women more

 

Runner up was being able to play a sweet drum solo. I just wanted to keep it at 10 things. Wasn’t too sure about this guy, he either is insanely manly or a few sandwiches short of a picnic. He puts on a bulletproof vest then shoots himself in the chest to see how well it works.

 

 

How about you, do you have anything manly to add to the list?

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4 thoughts on “Being Manly

  1. Afsal Ismail says:

    I did a post back on the how society interprets as being “manly” to block out feelings/not have certain feelings in the first place. I think its all useless. Men and women coexist and there’s no need for such a distinction.

  2. Being a laid-dee, I have nothing manly to add to the list. Out of the 10 still to do, I’d opt for the prostate exam if I were you. I have a friend, Ron, who had prostate cancer, but he’s beaten it so far. Good to get an early warning, though.
    Be a man! Don’t hide your head – or whatever – in the sand about this.
    Hope your throat clears up soon, I’ve had that, it’s wretched.

  3. Nick says:

    My beard just grew even longer after reading this.

  4. The things we do to prove our manhood….ha, ha, ha. At one point I probably tried a few of the ones on the list, perhaps more tame but in the end, we I just told myself, “what the heck, this is exhausting. I’ll be whatever my thoughts and feelings would led me to be.” It worked cause I got my wife to prove it! But don’t worry, I too get needy when sick…I think we all do. Sometimes, we need to be pampered too….hint to the wives and GF out there!!!

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