This is a little game I am borrowing from two people; the eloquent fish of gold and the penmonkey Chuck Wendig.
Basically, I look over the search terms that people use to find my blog and write about it.
How can that go wrong?
I don’t remember using anything remotely close to this in any of my blogs or tags. Whatever, here we go.
Well, I see this going one of two ways; either somebody had their pants scared literally right off of them or they were already nude and became frightened. If the latter I assume it was a guy bent over the tub and accidentally looked at the mirror behind him, probably thought he was being attacked by a misshapen or badly deformed Wildebeest or something. If the former then I can only assume it was a Scooby-Do porn parody, I’m having a hard time making any sort of sense of something that would scare you nude. I guess if you were terrified of spiders and a nest hatched inside your pants that would be sufficient reason to get into the buff, but then you wonder about any spider explorers wandering into private areas, which we find ourselves bent over naked in front of a mirror again. What the hell is wrong with me?
I’m not making those up either. Look!
science, it works bitches
Yes, it does. I enjoy the modern conventions that our scientific community has bestowed upon us throughout the years. I enjoy Tang, video games, and the microwave to reheat leftover Pad Thai. I think calling everybody bitches is a bit unnecessary, but I applaud your enthusiasm, we should celebrate science more. The most amazing part of science is how we randomly come up with solutions to the worlds problems. Take a company researching a pill to help relax the heart, only to discover it barely does anything to the heart, but it helps grandpa knock over the knick-knacks grandma so artfully placed on the end table when grandpa turns his hips too fast.
funny grammatical errors
This one makes perfect sense. If you don’t get it just wonder around my blog a bit and it will make sense. There is some truth when I say I roll my face across the keyboard.
I think this is the universe dividing by zero. Never have two opposing words been used together, these work together in the same way a brick doesn’t stay in the air. Then again, somebody made a ton of money from inventing vajazzling and pedazzling (google at your own risk), so I suppose anything is possible.
pictures of topless mermaids to colour in
I’m assuming by the u in colour that this is from across the pond, in which I ask why you are looking for topless mermaids to let your kids color? Then again this might be some perverted attempt at spicing up a marriage. If so I won’t judge, do what you have to do. I suggest a cup of ice, nine iron, duct tape, gummy bears, and hungry hippos if you really want to get it going – you have to figure out how to use all that yourself, or google.
What the hell is wrong with you? How dare you! It is Deadpool and if you can’t get that right I will take all your Internets away! ALL OF THEM!
ask the murlock
Whoever came up with Murlocks should be flogged, seriously. That damn garbled noise they make is about the most annoying sound I have ever heard. Then again it is always about context. We have this murlock sound:
and we have what would probably be the same if a dog stood in front of a sprinkler.
Which is hilarious.
things that make me laugh
I usually put stumble upon on humor and just go to town. Then again I can spend days looking at funny gifs. Here is my favorite gif. Mind you there is not a logical reason behind why I find it so damn funny.